Is the fear of judgement impacting your joy and the freedom to just live your life?

sophiereyyoga
Jul 2
3 min read

Something I've been reflecting on lately, is how worrying what others think of you creates a huge barrier to experiencing and expressing your own inner joy.

And yet we do it so much!

I've seen it with my Somatic Coaching clients, and felt it in my own personal experiences.

And there are many ways this fear of judgement can show up.

Perhaps you choose not to wear that gorgeous, vibrant outfit that makes you feel joyful, because it's too 'out there', or you don't want to be in the photo with your friends because you feel 'ugly' next to them.

When you feel like someone is looking at you and judging you, there's a familiar feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach, burning heat across your face and wanting to shrink away.

When you feel self-conscious, whether it's about how you look, or your personality, it's just easier to cancel the plans, not go out, and definitely not wear anything that will make you stand out.

Maybe you start overthinking and going into panic mode, googling ways to change or fix yourself.

What's actually going on?

This feeling often comes from a lack of safety in your nervous system.

It doesn't feel safe to be in my body.

It doesn't feel safe to be seen. Or heard.

And it is safer, to be quiet and hide.

Your body is trying to protect you by checking out.

And essentially what you're doing is believing, feeling and showing yourself over and over, that who you are isn't worthy of joy, inner contentment or expressing yourself.

This is why a core pillar of my group Somatic Coaching work is about embracing who you are and working with your nervous system slowly, to rebuild the foundations it needs, to move out of the 'unsafe' and into "it feels ok to be me and express joy through my body".

Woman takes a mirror selfie in a dim wood-paneled hallway, wearing a cream top and black skirt, with inspirational quote text overlay.

Leaning into Simple Joy

And no, you don't need to be loud or 'out there', to express your joy either.

You don't need to share it, or prove it - to anyone!

Joy can be simple and quiet daily rituals, of rooting for yourself, enjoying your cup of tea before the day starts, or moving your body with no rigid plan.

It can be focusing on the creative project you've wanted to do for ages, and not caring what others think (or whether you make mistakes along the way).

It can be choosing to go into nature for half an hour at lunch time and be with the land, who definitely isn't judging you!

Woman sitting under trees with her head lifted and she's smiling, wearing a pink and yellow top.

One of my clients who joined the last round of Embody Your Joy said that her perception of joy was that it had to be big and elaborate, and because of this she felt she didn't have time for it.

So relatable!

It was early on in the programme that she was able to re-frame this and recognise there are different versions of joy, which can look different day to day.

This isn't about the big moments, but about embracing your rhythm and choosing what works for you, so you can access it as often as you need (not just when you're in a good mood - or have the time for it).

Imagine not needing to look outside of yourself for validation or pleasure, but knowing that joy comes from within, and that it's possible to access that when your body isn't feeling the threat of what others think!

You can also anchor into your own creativity and connection to joy, to support yourself when you do feel exposed, overwhelmed or anxious, or you notice that you're going down the rabbit hole again.

Because let's face it, you are human and it's a natural instinct to want to fit in.

Embrace the you that you are!

With that being said, we explore how to embrace yourself and connect to your own joy in the 10 week Embody Your Joy group Somatic Coaching container, designed for anxious, sensitive women in their 30s and 40s.

For those navigating overthinking, overly judgemental thoughts, striving for perfection and not having any energy left for the fun and joyful aspects of life.

🌀 If this sounds like the shift your body has been craving, drop me an email or book a free call so we can talk more (with no pressure to sign up).